Enjoying Life

Today is memorial day and of course it does bring some sadness with loss of My Alex. He was a wonderful man and cared so much for me and our family. I am thankful that I can now be happy after five years. My life had been pretty rough in the years of 2003 and 2004 having lost my parents those years as well. I never thought I would find joy again, but God has been there for me and I can finally move forward. I miss Alex and my parents but I must move on though they are not longer with me.

Today I am happy to be alive. I am happy for my new husband, for my home, my family even my cats. I have more self esteem and feel more free than I have for years. I am happy being me. I love nature and my family and all the blessings God has given me. I am 65 years old and I am sorry I waited so long to learn what life is all about and learn how to enjoy life to its fullest. I feel much better and much healthier than I have for years. I am sure it was guilt and depression that caused me to not enjoy and realize my blessings. I feel free and I hope to get the most out of the rest of my life because I waited just too long to live life to its fullest.

My views on religion have changed. I feel religion should be simple: live your life as Jesus would want you to. I know I have made many mistakes but I know that Jesus died for us and He would not be happy for us to have contention among one another because of different beliefs. We have our free agency and everyone has the right to exercise it. Different beliefs should not cause us not to love each other. I would ask of the ones I love, Please do not let different views on religion separate us. Are religious beliefs more important than loving your fellow man?

I wish our family could be closer and I could see them more often. I want them to know that I love them and I hope they will forgive me if I have ever hurt them. I wish all of my family to have a very joyous summer.

I have posted a photo of Savannah. She brings a lot of joy into my life.

More on the Wedding

I just want to write more about our wedding day. It turned out perfect. The weather was beautiful. We were married in Judge Lynn Davis' back yard. A perfect backdrop for a wedding. We didn't even need to spend money decorating! There were flowers and a waterfall and just a gorgeous setting.

We had some family members attend and Savannah was the cutest one. She seems to really to need a grandma and a grandpa. When she was at our house on Mother's Day, she asked Randy if she could help him fertilize the lawn (she likes to walk behind him while he uses the spreader) but he told her that he didn't need to do that for month or so from now. Then she said: "Will you call my number when you are ready?" She is just so cute.

After the wedding, we went to eat at Mimi's and had good time chatting and getting to be with each other. I could not have asked for more.

I will be keeping the Carrillo name because I like it and because it's just easier with the paperwork and such and because Randy and I are keeping our finances separate.

Our Wedding

These photos are among many that we took for our wedding. I will be posting more later. We had a wonderful day and thanks very much for all those who attended and made it so. A special thanks to Tina and Kipp for the wonderful honeymoon getaway which we plan to use later in the summer. Randy wore his Tony Lama boots. He is not one to dress up. I told him he needs to because he bought a very expensive suit which is for the cruise but it would be a waste for him to wear it only for that. He said I could bury him in it or cremate him in it. LOL

A Friends's Advice on Marriage

Randy has a female friend in Arizona. She has become my friend too. When he told her we were getting married, she told him one of us would lose our social security and we should not get married. I used to think that too and that was one reason I was skeptical to get married. But that is not so. We both get to keep ours. He has his on his own record and I have mine on Alex as his widow.

I think she just have been a little jealous that we were marrying but she was only a friend and is 71 years old.

Celebration

This past weekend, three of my four daughters, Tina, Monica and Tammy and I and my granddaughter Lacey went out out to celebrate Tina's birthday and Mother's Day. We had a great time at the Desert Star Theater seeing AMERICAN FORK IDOL. We then went to Mimis' to eat. We enjoyed conversing and catching up. I also had a great Mother's Day the next day. I got to have a BBQ with some of my family and I got some great Mother's Day gifts. Thanks to all who made it such a wonderful day!

Randy's New Duds

We are going on a cruise soon and Randy hasn't worn a suit for years. He said he got tired of dressing up because he had to wear a suit and tie everyday when he went to Catholic High School. I found out that he really has high taste in clothes. We went yesterday to Men's Warehouse and he bought a suite and two shirts and two ties, socks and a pair of shoes. These were very classy items, not something cheap. He is going to look really good on the cruise. I told him now he has to take me out lots of fancy places so he can get the use out of his spiffy new clothes.

Tying the Knot

Randy and I have been together for over a year. We have finally decided to tie the knot. It's a little scary but we feel we want to really commit ourselves now. I do not know if my family wants this or not. I think maybe I'm damned if I do marry and damned if I don't. Anyway, I hope my family will support me in this. After all, some of them have remarried and I have supported them. Randy and I love each other and hope to have a happy life together.

One of the reasons we did not choose to marry sooner is that Randy was afraid that my family would think he was after me because of money. He didn't want to cause any rift with my family. The money situation is as it was before: What was mine when we met is still mine and nothing will change that way. I am keeping my Carrillo name. The only reason we are marrying now is because we think it's right morally and we love each other and are committed.

The wedding date is set for May 16 and any who want to attend are welcome. It's just with the judge at his home and nothing else. A very short ceremony. All are welcome who want to come. Randy and I were thinking of getting married in Reno but he wanted my family to attend so he was thinking of them.

Happy Birthday to Tina

Today is Tina's birthday. Forty six years ago today I had my firstborn little girl. She had black hair and she was so sweet. I had my first Mother's Day that Sunday after her birth. Tina has made me proud. She is an avid hiker, she works out and walks everyday. She appreciates good theater and music. She can cook and she can sew. She dresses beautifully and she is very thoughtful. I could go on forever telling all the things that she is good at, which is practically everything.

So I wish her a very Happy Birthday today.